1st writing assignment

You can check my essay on art and inclusion: Private Revolution. Click here.

Entry #9 MLA Research Paper (Daly): New Alternative Conclusion

Owing to public controversy, state legislators have to look closely the problem of irresponsible drivers. Public awareness repudiates the use of phones while on the road because of this misbehavior have caused traffic deaths and multiple injuries. From cartoons to scientists, they all have agreed on the dangerous consequences of using a cell phone while driving. Scientists confirmed that those drivers using cell phones are as dangerous as drunk drivers. Despite expert opinions, media neglected scientists fact by means of a syllogism without taking notice of statics, the families of the victims and the fallibility of law around states.   Matt Sundeen of the National Conference of State Legislatures (qtd. In Layton C9) stated that “It’s definitely an issue that is gaining steam around the country”. States Legislators need to act now to regulate the use of cell phones in moving vehicles.

Sources:
Matt Richel (2013). Driven to distraction. [ONLINE] Retrieved from: http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/technology/series/driven_to_distraction/index.html. [Last Accessed 13 June 2013].

Entry #8 Peer Assesment

PEER ASSESSMENT

·                     Paste your paragraph on immigration.

·                     Give it an appropriate title.

·                     Go into a mate’s blog and assess his/her paragraph.

·                     Use the tools/criteria discussed in class. 

·                     Go back to your own blog and make the necessary changes (following your mate's/mates' suggestions) to improve it. 

NB: DO NOT ERASE your original paragraph, leave both versions.

First Version:

Immigration: A reflection

Immigration is a displacement of people into new surroundings triggering a social reaction. Societies are ordered by ephemeral conventions which are given by organizations that influence the reality and their perception between good or evil. Unfortunately, this manufactured purpose of the universe is only a limited perspective of an always-changing world that escapes the law of families, schools, countries and above all, the limited perception of capitalism. Idealizations are produced for those with a relative power creating a false sense of equilibrium. Thus, Children at school are taught how Columbus discovered America, ignoring the genocide of thousands of natives. Also, Children are taught how good Sarmiento was at school, ignoring his proto-Nazi ideology. His book, Facundo, is a clear representation of how “the others” have to be seen: as the enemy. Nevertheless, the book that is the icon in Argentina is the Martín Fierro which coincides with a clear hate towards the immigrants. Both ideologies follow the same ideal of blaming “the other” without having in mind whether they are guilty or not. Discrimination is a logical device to differentiate and separate two statements from each other. However, this is an individual discrimination to rationalize to make a decision, to give a mark to your student at school, to decide between going out with this girl or that girl which is quite different from producing a whole idealization, blaming a whole group of people, based on a proximal fear of losing your own tangible resources: icons of essence and/or existence. Fear is motivation for those whose existence is supplied by a structure not knowing that life is not a fairy tale and all empires and societies sooner or later are condemned to fall. Critical thought not only help us to realize what is good or evil but also to discover how the whole society and media lie to us. From this point, we are given the opportunity to discover the truth and to try once for all to start thinking about the world and about us. The purpose of the universe is not in Sarmiento hymn but in how we manage to keep alive, all alive, all together. Indeed, society is bound to change through Immigration.

Sol Fos's editing

Immigration: A reflection

Immigration is a displacement of people into new surroundings triggering a social reaction. Societies are ordered by ephemeral conventions which are given by organizations that influence the reality and their perception between good or evil. Unfortunately, this manufactured purpose of the universe is only a limited perspective of an always-changing world that escapes the law of families, schools, countries and above all, the limited perception of capitalism. Idealizations are produced for those with a relative power creating a false sense of equilibrium. Thus, Children at school are taught how Columbus discovered America, ignoring the genocide of thousands of natives. Also, Children are taught how good Sarmiento was at school, ignoring his proto-Nazi ideology. His book, Facundo, is a clear representation of how “the others” have to be seen: as the enemy. Nevertheless, the book that is the icon in Argentina is the Martín Fierro which coincides with a clear hate towards the immigrants. Both ideologies follow the same ideal of blaming “the other” without having in mind whether they are guilty or not. Discrimination is a logical device to differentiate and separate two statements from each other. However, this is an individual discrimination to rationalize to make a decision, to give a mark to your student at school, to decide between going out with this girl or that girl which is quite different from producing a whole idealization, blaming a whole group of people, based on a proximal fear of losing your own tangible resources: icons of essence and/or existence. Fear is motivation for those whose existence is supplied by a structure not knowing that life is not a fairy tale and all empires and societies sooner or later are condemned to fall. Critical thought not only help us realize what is good or evil but also to discover how the whole society and media lie to us. From this point, we are given the opportunity to discover the truth and to try once for all to start thinking about the world and about us. The purpose of the universe is not in Sarmiento hymn but in how we manage to keep alive, all alive, all together. Indeed, society is bound to change through Immigration.

Hernandez, J. (1872) Martín Fierro. Argentina: Terramar (2007)

Sarmiento, D.F. (1845) Facundo. Argentina: Ediciones Clásicas (2001)

Entry #7 Metacognitive Analysis:

1. Paragraph ONE: YOUR PARAGRAPH (TOPIC SENTENCE + BODY +  CONCLUSION SENTENCE)

   Rationalism ,in the hands of the right ones, help us to find ephemeral truths from our reality. A person claims a statement after a detailed observation through logical experimentation. The following example will enlighten us:  “Canal Encuentro” released a few series of documentaries about myths and facts, among them, The Loch Ness Monster documentary made a real impression on me: A scientist went to the Loch Ness River and observed its biosphere, and came to the conclusion that the Loch Ness Monster would never sustain its existence in such a place. The monster would simply starve to death without any resource to keep itself alive. The scientist observed and applied his logic in order to produce convincing arguments to support the fact that “The Loch Ness monster will never survive in such a place”. In rationalism, the scientist produced a statement supported by arguments that were the result of logical experimentation. On the other hand, ordinary people have an interesting way of twisting arguments to produce a fact.  Cynics produce a statement which is supported by an irrational distrust with a negative connotation. A partial number of Argentineans in reference to certain subjects would produce vulgar statements such as : “Hay que matarlos a todos”, “son todos vagos”, “que negros de mierda!” or “estos afanan a lo loco, como se rascan…”  and immediately reinforce those statements with cynical smiles using short phrases such as: “no vamos a cambiar nada”, “es el país que nos toco”, or “es así”. The lack of arguments can be often replaced by conclusions that denote economic sensibility nurtured by an aggressive capitalist culture. The problem is not that ordinary Argentineans have this thought; the problem is that graduated people, with relevant positions in this society such as teachers, politicians or journalists, act based on irrational principles that would irremediably produce drastic effects in our lives. The irresponsibility of these people is the consequence of impunity in our culture, but that is not valid justification for their current irresponsibility in their duties, Heidegger classified this attitude in which the being-there consumes not to understand the world but in order to see. Consequently, people have the impossibility to understand by themselves because they only consume information to satisfy their immediate desires. The importance of a valid source to support arguments to reach the truth and opinions has to be taught by those whose roles have an effect on our population; A serious rational compromise with the truth has to be led by politicians, teachers and anyone with influence to support freedom, diversity in thinking and real peace. 

Source:

Heidegger, M. (1927). El ser y el tiempo: El ser-ahí y la caída del ser-ahí – la avidez de novedades.    México: Editorial Efe (2010)

1. Paragraph TWO:    YOUR MATE'S TOPIC SENTENCE + YOUR BODY+ YOUR MATE'S CONCLUSION SENTENCE

   A social understanding of the importance of reason can lead us to a better reality. A person claims a statement after a detailed observation through logical experimentation. The following example will enlighten us:  “Canal Encuentro” released a few series of documentaries about myths and facts, among them, The Loch Ness Monster documentary made a real impression on me: A scientist went to the Loch Ness River and observed its biosphere, and came to the conclusion that the Loch Ness Monster would never sustain its existence in such a place. The monster would simply starve to death without any resource to keep itself alive. The scientist observed and applied his logic in order to produce convincing arguments to support the fact that “The Loch Ness monster will never survive in such a place”. In rationalism, the scientist produced a statement supported by arguments that were the result of logical experimentation. On the other hand, ordinary people have an interesting way of twisting arguments to produce a fact.  Cynics produce a statement which is supported by an irrational distrust with a negative connotation. A partial number of Argentineans in reference to certain subjects would produce vulgar statements such as : “Hay que matarlos a todos”, “son todos vagos”, “que negros de mierda!” or “estos afanan a lo loco, como se rascan…”  and immediately reinforce those statements with cynical smiles using short phrases such as: “no vamos a cambiar nada”, “es el país que nos toco”, or “es así”. The lack of arguments can be often replaced by conclusions that denote economic sensibility nurtured by an aggressive capitalist culture. The problem is not that ordinary Argentineans have this thought; the problem is that graduated people, with relevant positions in this society such as teachers, politicians or journalists, act based on irrational principles that would irremediably produce drastic effects in our lives. The irresponsibility of these people is the consequence of impunity in our culture, but that is not valid justification for their current irresponsibility in their duties, Heidegger classified this attitude in which the being-there consumes not to understand the world but in order to see. Consequently, people have the impossibility to understand by themselves because they only consume information to satisfy their immediate desires. The importance of a valid source to support arguments to reach the truth and opinions has to be taught by those whose roles have an effect on our population; Societies are more favourable to succeed in their administrations with a consciousness in the importance of rationalism. 

1. Paragraph THREE: metacongnitive analysis

METACOGNITIVE ANALYSIS:

·                     Does the overall meaning vary?

·                     Is one sentence better than the other? Why?

·                     Which sentence(s) best reflects the content of the paragraph?

·                     Are there good synonyms, antonyms, hyponyms in the 1st and last sentences?

·                     Has wording been avoided?

·                     Is there any repetition?

·                     Is every element in the paragraph included in the TS? And in the Conclusion sentence?

NB: You need not answer EVERY QUESTION. They're just a guide.

Metacognitive Analysis

There is no difference in meaning in both sentences, both follow the same argument. In my opinion, I prefer the second TS and CS because not only reflect the content of the paragraph but also avoid wordiness. Repetition is  another good point to remark that the second TS and CS is way much better than the former ones, making the point clearer.

ISFD 41
Fos, María Soledad
Moyano, Federico